Rags to Riches

Some of the best memories of the trip have been the transportation adventures in Asia.... it is definitely cray. The best/worst travel trip was on a slave boat from Koh Tao to Phuket. It involved an eight hour overnight ferry that looked like this:

Super cozy, right?

Those are Asian sized mattresses, somewhere between a twin and a full, lined up side by side down the length of an old retired fishing boat. If you aren't traveling in an even numbered group then you are sharing a mattress with a stranger. Not that it matters because there is zero space between the mattresses anyway. Once the boat is loaded they give you about 15 minutes to exchange bewildered looks with your fellow inmates and pop some $1 Thai valium. Then it's lights out and everyone lays down like sardines and pretends to sleep under the flickering prison-style light bulbs for the next eight hours.

Don't we look so well rested?

You can imagine how tired we were when we got off the boat but the journey was only half over at this point. We were crammed into tuk tuks and taken to a NASTY looking convenience store, inappropriately named Holiday, with dead cockroaches on the floor, ants crawling all over the walls and an unclean squat toilet with no soap or toilet paper which the owner had the audacity to charge us to use. After two hours at this place, we were ushered to two more convenience stores to spend our money before we finally got to board a bus to Phuket.

Is this journey ever going to be over so Ashley will stop taking pictures of us??

The plus side of Thai transportation is that if your destination isn't too far off the normal route the driver will usually drop your off. So we were dropped off on the side of the highway and ran across to paradise- THE MARRIOTT!!

Getting ready to run across the highway.

pKimb graciously used her Marriott points to book us a night in a $600, two bedroom suite at the Phuket Marriott and ohhh did we take advantage of every minute there. First off, they greeted us with leis and fresh watermelon juice. And they didn't even seem to care we were dressed in dirty rags with disheveled hair.

Finally feeling human again.

Our honeymoon pic. We decided a three wives marriage might be pretty perfect.

Can you guess which side is mine and which is Ashley's?

Even though all we wanted to do was pass out for 24 hours, we couldn't waste any time sleeping. This place was FANCY and we didn't even have to sneak in. They have a baby elephant that plays by the pool! We spent most of the day playing with him, playing in the pool and taking veggie carving classes.

Ash and pKimb shooting some hoops after stealing the ball from a little Chinese kid.

We were able to communicate with this elephant thanks to our Mahout training.

Apparently the Marriott has a private beach because when we went to watch the sunset, there were only four other people on the entire beach. Heavenly.

Ashley swimming under the sunset.

pKimb, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! The trip has not been the same since you left :( We love you and miss you in the weird way.

Our third wife. 

-Kim

The Unintended Cleanse

TMI

-Kyle

From Phuket with Love

Phuket, Thailand: Dec 26th to Dec 30th

We loved it here!  Being in Phuket was like having the best summer day in Seattle over and over again.  Just normal and relaxing and perfect.  And thanks to some tips from friends back home we made a great choice right off the bat by deciding to book our hotel in Karon beach instead of the uber-touristy/ping pong showy Patong beach area.

Karon Beach

We walked a million miles a day up and down the beach and through the awesome little town.  We drank $1 fruit shakes and fresh coconut water like it was our job.  We swam and body-boarded (new favorite activity) in the salty crystal clear water.  And we tanned on the packed yet perfect beaches on our $3 beach chairs that they refused to barter with us on- that were totally worth it.

We got Thai massages. We got TONS of sleep, and watched lots of movies--have you seen that movie frmo about 5 years ago with Paul Rudd and Michelle Pfeiffer, "I Will Never Be Your Woman"? Well if you haven't you should. If it's on one of the 3 English channels in Thailand it's got to be on Netflix. Go watch it now please, it's hilarious. It's all three of our new favorite movie (sorry to call you out Kyle).

  

We enjoyed the heavenly air conditioning in our cheap guest house.  We snuck into a fancy hotel pool down the street!

Sneaking into the fancy hotel pool!  We are rebels I tell you.

We ate lots of delicious Thai food and surprisingly, some delicious Russian food as well, because as it turns out Phuket is pretty much "little Russia".  I'd say 80% of the tourists were either Russian or Polish.  Thanks to Anna I was able to tell them I love them and say 'good' in Russian.  Specibo, Annichika!

On our last night on the island we took a tuk tuk to the crazy Patong beach area so we could see what it was all about.  Just like we had heard, it was pretty insane.  It felt a bit like being in Time Square to me, with all the billboards and McDonald's and people trying to sell you things.  Fun for a night but definitely not for our whole stay.  We ended up having dinner and a giant tower of beer at a little restaurant in some alley where we played cards (Kings) and laughed so hard *someone* might have peed their pants.  Then we headed back to the main road to explore, got caught in a giant rain storm- watched every single person run for cover- and in true Seattle fashion- danced through the streets in the rain instead.

Main street in Patong

Tower of Chang beer

A lively game of Kings

Dancing in the rain

We've learned you can't always trust other peoples' advice, but just in case you trust us, our advice to you is when you go to Phuket, stay in Karon Beach. :) You're welcome.

-From Ashley with Love